Urinals live between being necessity yet apprehensible activity, a need yet anatomical requirement. What makes urinals an event that causes my mind to plan ahead minutes if not hours before I venture into the bathroom realm? What makes this pure convenience to every day life such a stressful thirty seconds?
What happens mentally before we step up to the porcelain wall hanging? First, you have to make sure that you’re in tune with the underlying male rules and regulations for proper urinal use. The rules you ask?
The following rules are underlying and are in effect whether an occupant is using a divided or undivided urinal system.
When approaching the urinal, first asses the situation seeing how many males exists per urinal. If the occupancy isn’t high, then please proceed to the nearest urinal that is affixed at least two urinals away from a current occupant. This will make other occupants feel less awkward. If all urinals but one are filled, feel free to try to find a stall toilet to use. If no urinals or stalls are available, please wait in line at least 8 feet away from any urinal occupant, do not look in their direction and do not talk.
When a urinal becomes available to you, please move quickly to that urinal not turning your eye to your right or left as this could be used to non-verbally tell other occupants that you are either a new urinal user or just an untrained user. Also the wandering eye (as the National Urinal Association credits this term) can also have adverse affects on other occupants-who may question the sexuality and reason for your use at that specific urinal. Keep your eyes ahead and do not talk.
When in full use of the urinal, it is best if you do not bring up conversation or short talk with other occupants at the urinals. This causes much discomfort to all of the patrons, because this is not a normal arena for conversation. Some men are not able to focus on two large tasks at one time, and the conversation may cause many doubts between you and another occupant of where your eye contact should be during that conversation because conversation induces the wandering eye. The NUA would also recommend that not even a small greeting should be used, because you will not be in synchronized usage with your possible neighbor and this can make for an embarrassing situation. Please, do not talk.
Approaching the “turn around time” (NUA Glossary of terms) is important and is very crucial to your well being and the well being of others in the urinal grounds. When beginning to exit, please zip quickly keeping your eyes in complete vertical alignment with the wall that is currently in front of you. After your person is ready to exit, please turn quickly 180 degrees making no eye contact with any other occupant. Walk directly to the sink and please wash your hands, and immediately proceed out the exit door. Remember, do not talk.
All in all, I say break the rules. Chat it up! Ask your urinal neighbor how they are doing! It will make for good stories! But…do keep away from the wandering eye!
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