Iceberg Dead Ahead

No, I wasn’t on a ship that sunk. But my bank account has sunk a bit, not too mention I’m battling to stay above water with my joy-as this passenger aboard ship tries to get to the bottom of horrible navigation from leadership we are supposed to trust. I’m flailing fighting against the idea to be “joyful in all trials and tribulations.”

Yesterday it rained. Last night it froze. My car was about two miles from my friend’s house. When taking my exit, police lights shine brightly, much like the star in the east. Just beyond that star is where my destination lies. Unfortunately after this wise man made a closer examination, the realization occurred that someone hit an ice patch and found their way into the sidewall of the ramp. Immediately my gut said, “turn around.” I wish I had listened. My wise man score just dropped to a “b”.

After thirty minutes, traffic began to move. Joy rose up in me. My nerves were already beginning to nudge me in anticipation of getting to my destination safely. A parking space at an apartment complex never sounded so good. Halfway up the off ramp, all of we ramp passengers come to a stand still. Thirty minutes passes. An hour passes. It was time to make friends. Out of my car and into the cold I went. It felt like being at a PTA meeting with parents who weren’t happy with the school system. Although one man was content to be sitting still after his car had recently three-sixtied on the main highway. After the meeting it was back to the car to get warm. Another light, yet not the star of the east, but despair—the gaslight. The yellow couldn’t have shouted at me any louder. The options: turn of my car and be cold or stay warm and go ahead and call AAA for gas. Survey says: car off.

Two hours pass. It was getting colder outside and inside the car, and I was getting restless and more nervous. After two hours of fidgeting, I felt a small nudging from the Lord to spend some time with Him. The first thing I asked for was for Him to supernaturally fill my gas tank and my car with heat.

Thirty minutes later a cop arrives. It is now 12:30 am (three hours into the process) After assessing the situation, and after realizing he couldn’t even drive halfway up the ramp, I was at least hoping for a verdict. All of us received one. We had to abandon our cars for the night because due to the iceberg at the top of the hill, no one could pass. We were then asked to come back at 8 am to retrieve our cars. After getting two bags from my trunk, I struggled up the hill, using any car I could to help me ice ski to safety.

8 a.m. and the car is nowhere to be found. After investigation it is learned that all the cars were impounded and towed away. Two hours later, $139 poorer, and irritation at a new level, phone calls are beginning to be made as to the reason for this debacle. No answers yet, but this steamboat is full speed ahead.

Mary Christmas

Mary had to not only become pregnant with the Messiah, but must have been pregnant with many questions. She must have had so many thoughts and feelings as she took upon one of the greatest miracles ever. Dealing with the fact that she, out of all women on the earth, was highly favored by God and was the chosen one to carry salvation within her, yet face her people, friends and family with information that in the natural would never be comprehendible.

As my mind contemplated Mary this morning, I couldn’t help but be quickened to the thought that we are all impregnated with a miracle within us. There are stirrings in us that can only be accomplished in a supernatural way. There are stirrings in me- dreams, visions- that seem like impossible walls to scale, and like Mary are met with immediate fear and questions. The Angel put all fear away with a quick retort to not fear. It seems as if it were a command. Why should there be no fear, because there is favor. Favor is what allows the birth of dreams, a birth of royal things that take the throne and rule the kingdom. Something that seemed so insignificant as pregnancy became the equivalent of universal freedom for all people.

“I’m the Lord’s servant…may it be!” Trust fills those words. Mary came into the acknowledgment that humanly this was an impossible situation, but as the angel told her, nothing is impossible with God. A woman who was filled with humility became the key to revolutionize this world. A woman who stepped out in courageous faith birthed an unshakeable kingdom.

Sometimes you have to say and declare things before they happen. I wonder if Mary in faith said, “May it be” before she really believed it could be, and the evidential truth followed her faith. Or perhaps in that moment something rose up in her that she stood with unwavering strength in her protected favor. All in all, as we know the Lord has impregnated us with dreams we can easily hear the everyday world seems to laugh at us in its impossibility. But impossibility isn’t possible with God.

May it be.

Reality TV Blog Style

A few days ago, a friend made a comment that I should have my own reality TV show after reading a Facebook post describing an unfortunate event in my life. I heartily agree. Not only do random odd things happen to me, but for some reason I tend to encounter strange people. This last week, I unfortunately wasn't wearing my head cam so I will blog the reality for you to enjoy what was missed!

The first is a story that actually won't be shared. Incredibly embarrassing was the event, but left me and a dear friend in tears as I told her what happened. And the only reason she found out is because she called me right after the event happened. Lets just say it involved a bag of carrots and digestion.

Two days later, in preparation for a current show I'm performing in, I sat poolside working on my guitar skills. I had two chairs with me functioning in two different roles: one to support me, and one to support my music. The chair that was supporting my music was also attracting a wasp who didn't seem to have anything else to do. At first the wasp did his thing, and I kept strumming. Then for some reason, a change of events began to happen: when the wasp was ready to take a lap to the other side of the pool, he felt the need for a fly by of my face. It started to annoy me, so I took my script and took a strong swipe at the wasp. The CD that was inside frisbeed out and flew a good distance away. After retrieving my CD, I came back to my seat where the wasp after just a few short minutes once again started his fly-bys. Lets call the wasp Maverick. Maverick was on my last nerve, so I picked up my script again, and with a hearty home run swing, the script found its way out of my hands, into the air and landing with a flop into the pool. (Enter expletive here) My lifeguard instinct travelled me quickly over to the victim, and luckily after triaging the situation realized I didn't have to jump in. I pulled the soaking wet victim from the pool and rushed it into the house where I had to pull apart page by page the almost drowned lines and music, sitting it out over the entirety of my house to dry.

Two days later I was with a friend at the Costco concessions stand, waiting patiently to order my food, when suddenly I find an older woman in my personal face space. With no introductions or everyday pleasantries, she cuts to the chase.

"What kind of bike do you have" she asks.

With a perplexed face I replied, "Excuse me?"

"Bike" she said, "What kind of bike do you have."

"A bike? Like a motorcycle? I don't own one sorry" Then looking down I realized I had a faint graphic of a bike on my t-shirt which naturally made this woman think that I actually own one. I mean--usually when I see people with horses on their shirts, my immediate thought is, oh, they must have a Clydesdale at home.

"Oh, you are talking about my shirt" I said with understanding.

"My son is a champion" she said adorning a smile.

"That's great" I said supporting her joy.

"Next please" the concessions attendant pipes up with great volume. So I stepped up to order my food in internal thanks that this awkward conversation was forced to stop. Thinking I was in the clear, I then hear my elderly friend spout out some foreign motorbike name.

On auto repeat I said, "Excuse me?"

She repeated the name and followed with "If anyone ask you want kind of bike you have you just tell them (fill in the bike brand here)"

I didn't know what to do with that. I collected my food and drink and quietly slipped away. I'm glad she didn't see the rainbow on my flip flops.

Nashville With a Big Red Bow

Through my life, I see how much I'm blessed. It's daily. But sometimes the gifts come in a little bit bigger of a package than normal. Some would call the gifts luck or random: but I would disagree. I would call the Giver who gives the gift--wise. One who knows just when to give a little something extra.

On October 4th I made my journey to Nashville, TN. My first stop was my living quarters: the house of my host family. The door opened and I was greeted by two amazing people: Jeff and Cindy Loring, not to mention a homemade soup accompanied with fruit, cheese and crackers. From the moment I stepped in their door I was instant family and was going to be taken care of for three weeks except that "taken care of" is such an understatement of how they really treated me. I felt like royalty. We ate many meals together, had many conversations, hit the town, watched Antique Roadshow and Dancing With the Stars on regular occasion, laughed, and just got to rest in one another's presence. I spent many hours swinging on their porchswing, playing the guitar, basking in the sun, watching the little puppies have there outdoor activity time and just being.

The next door I stepped through was to the home of my Hello Dolly cast. We can call them my second Nashville family. How precious they all turned out to be. From the start I was received with such warmth and kindness. As I think on each cast family member such fond memories surface: Ashley doing her lazy eye Minnie Fay: Michael talking about prostitutes in the aisle during the middle of a show; Carrie making me belly laugh on many occasions; Graham taking my First Call lyric quizzes; Bonnie just sitting down and having good conversation; Nan giving the best hugs ever; Kirk being my downtown Nashville pal; Katie proving her true title of the karaoke queen; Maggie tying my apron before each show; and the list could go on and on. I find myself smiling now after making that list. But it was so good. It was a show I was so proud of, a character I really felt true in portraying, and a performance I wanted the world to see.

The city of Nashville was such an amazing place: the food, the people--it is a city that is warm and homey. Everyday before the show I would either visit Frothy Monkey or Bongo Java for a pumpkin muffin and a coffee of sorts. I looked forward to it. I looked forward to every day and would hate when my current day would have to end. I feel like I had so much to do, so much to see, so much to share with other people. Three weeks was not enough.

Tokyo, Japan is a place I never dreamed I would have lived. To be honest Asia is a destination that would have never been on my "to visit" list. But I was blindsided by a wise gift. I remember my very last day at Tokyo Disney, I walked behind my outdoor theatre and I looked up in the sky and told the Lord, "You just gave me a gift with a really big red bow on it." My last performance of Hello Dolly, before the show started, I returned to that same outdoor alter, looked up at the sky and repeated the prayer that came out of my heart just years before, "You just gave me gift with a really big bow on it." The Giver did. And I'm so grateful.

25 Random Things...

1. The only fight I have ever been in was in 4th grade and it was pretty violent. It was between me and my best friend Andrew. (Not Zahn) =)
2. I won second place in a costume contest in 1st grade. I was a smurf. I should have won, but I went to a really legalistic elementary school and they probably thought I would cast a spell on everyone.
3. I was spanked in first grade (the school called it cheating, I call it giving someone secretarial work) and the first whack made me have to use the restroom. So I had to go to the little wranglers room then return for my next two whacks. I think I still need therapy for this.
4. One of my favorite things besides a good ocean and beautiful skyline is a clear stary night! If you add Over The Rhine, a glass of wine, and a leisurely walk afterward, you are pretty close to heaven.
5. I wanted to be a marine biologist or an ER nurse.
6. I wasn't a big fan of the Asian culture. Then I lived in Japan. I wept when I had to leave and come back to the US.
7. I was the first person onto a pretty horrific accident. I'll never forget seeing the the things I saw.
8. When I was a youngin' and I was afraid, I would run and hide somewhere. I still do that sometimes today, but I'm getting better at facing my fears.
9. I love love love love love my church! www.christcc.org Check it out.
10. I've had many men tell me I look like Oscar De La Hoya
11. My sister Renee's first boyfriend taught me how to do headstands when I was a kid. One night for their pure entertainment, and the entertainment of all the guest in the house, I decided to perform my new trick. After assuming my headstand position, I proceeded to split my legs in the air, thus releasing a loud noise from my buttocks. They didn't know what was coming with the headstand did they?
12. In 4th grade my friend Kelly used to eat her earwax and flash us by pulling her dress up. I hope she isn't reading this.
13. One of my roughest times in life was my junior-senior year summer. Jesus literally picked me up and carried me through.
14. My most embarrassing moment (well not anymore) included my friend Tory's house, a clogged toilet, and a dixie cup.
15. My sisters and I used to sing three part harmony in the car wherever we went. One of our hits was "Oh I Ain't Got A Barrell of Money"
16. I love that Jesus teaches us to love! It something I really am learning and want to be better at.
17. I currently have the greatest boss ever. Beth W Bowen!
18. I wish my spring break this year (which will be doing the show Miss Saigon--come see it) could be like last year. Going to Florida and Disney!!
19. My nickname in Junior High was "lardbutt". I might as well go to therapy for this one too.
20. Have I told you how much I love cookies? What about cheesecake? M&Ms? Trail mix?
21. I really want to go skydiving
22. Creativity is my heartbeat. I've written tons of music and two and a half musicals. The songs aren't so bad, but the musicals need some work. =) I would love for Jesus to allow my music to heal people.
23. I never have had a speeding ticket! (Who wants to play "I have never?")
24. I used to rollerskate shows non-stop in the basement when I was younger. I also loved to perform regular non rollerskating shows on the front porch for the people passing by car.
25. I have a jacket and shoe fetish. My mom has told me I can't buy any more jackets. =)

Why Grandma Doesn't Shop At Walmart

This really is my grandmother explaining why she won't set foot in a Walmart.

http://i56.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http%3A%2F%2Fvid56.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg191%2FTarheelwoo%2FIdontshoptatwalmart.flv

Relationships: A Pathway To Loneliness

Henri Nouwen struck a chord in me; a dissonant chord; a chord that hits the ear harshly, but with tones that leave brilliant depth, a chord you don’t want to be right, but for some unforeseen reason it is. Nouwen expresses the thought that when you enter a friendship or relationship with human beings, it makes you all the more aware of your own loneliness. It reveals all the needs within yourself, whether realized or unrealized, that you are hopeful that the person across from you can somehow meet, somehow touch, somehow be the end all be all, somehow embody being hope. One glaring need is basic: wanting to be wanted by someone, and for a brief period of time, having that need met, having been chosen as ‘the one’, ‘the best friend’, ‘the boy/girl friend’, the ‘husband/wife’. But what does time do to these titles? How does a society that spins the word ‘commitment’-as if it were foreign-support these ideals? What happens when 4 days, 4 months, 4 years pass, and someone feels as though they are back to the drawing board, in search of that one we believe can make every need go away?

If we look closely we can see how avoiding loneliness manifests itself: many times it involves becoming so heartily encroached in some type of connecting activity to help you feel anything besides the loneliness that doesn’t budge. As humans we need experiences, we need the tangible, we need someone to say that they love us, we need the most current attractive distraction to buy us a little more time from the pieces of us that are undeniably frightening to unite with that lie deep in our hearts.

Facebook- I’ve heard some refer to this social network as a “glass of milk with just a hint of arsenic laced in it.” An online activity so entertaining, a place to reconnect with friends from your past, a click of a button to see what the latest news is of your cyberworld/real world collision of friendships. Yet how much time does it take from us? How often have you found yourself going from page to page desperately wanting a deeper connection with the picture displayed in front of you? How many times has it served as a place of hiding?

I believe we should never view loneliness as a negative attribute. If loneliness could be a part of our healthily lifestyle, then why are we so quick in delaying to really see it, or rather embrace it? Loneliness can help spur on healthiness in relationships with others by letting us understand that every person we come into contact with is exactly like us: human with needs. When we finally discover that another person by no means can save us 100% of the time, we begin to let the one we are relating to off of the hook of our need for a human-savior. We release our demands of underlying requirements that we have placed on the relationship. We simply can just be with no ploys, no manipulation, no striving, and no performance. Then we can see through that relationship that there has to be something bigger and greater outside of ourselves that can fill those deep lonely places--something supernatural. And only when we get filled there can we even begin to fathom pouring it into others.

Lower still with no expectation.

Underlying Urinal Usage

Urinals live between being necessity yet apprehensible activity, a need yet anatomical requirement. What makes urinals an event that causes my mind to plan ahead minutes if not hours before I venture into the bathroom realm? What makes this pure convenience to every day life such a stressful thirty seconds?

What happens mentally before we step up to the porcelain wall hanging? First, you have to make sure that you’re in tune with the underlying male rules and regulations for proper urinal use. The rules you ask?

The following rules are underlying and are in effect whether an occupant is using a divided or undivided urinal system.

When approaching the urinal, first asses the situation seeing how many males exists per urinal. If the occupancy isn’t high, then please proceed to the nearest urinal that is affixed at least two urinals away from a current occupant. This will make other occupants feel less awkward. If all urinals but one are filled, feel free to try to find a stall toilet to use. If no urinals or stalls are available, please wait in line at least 8 feet away from any urinal occupant, do not look in their direction and do not talk.

When a urinal becomes available to you, please move quickly to that urinal not turning your eye to your right or left as this could be used to non-verbally tell other occupants that you are either a new urinal user or just an untrained user. Also the wandering eye (as the National Urinal Association credits this term) can also have adverse affects on other occupants-who may question the sexuality and reason for your use at that specific urinal. Keep your eyes ahead and do not talk.

When in full use of the urinal, it is best if you do not bring up conversation or short talk with other occupants at the urinals. This causes much discomfort to all of the patrons, because this is not a normal arena for conversation. Some men are not able to focus on two large tasks at one time, and the conversation may cause many doubts between you and another occupant of where your eye contact should be during that conversation because conversation induces the wandering eye. The NUA would also recommend that not even a small greeting should be used, because you will not be in synchronized usage with your possible neighbor and this can make for an embarrassing situation. Please, do not talk.

Approaching the “turn around time” (NUA Glossary of terms) is important and is very crucial to your well being and the well being of others in the urinal grounds. When beginning to exit, please zip quickly keeping your eyes in complete vertical alignment with the wall that is currently in front of you. After your person is ready to exit, please turn quickly 180 degrees making no eye contact with any other occupant. Walk directly to the sink and please wash your hands, and immediately proceed out the exit door. Remember, do not talk.

All in all, I say break the rules. Chat it up! Ask your urinal neighbor how they are doing! It will make for good stories! But…do keep away from the wandering eye!